By Terry L. Brock

Recently, I received a daily email from someone I admire greatly. He has a best-selling book and has demonstrated lots of integrity in his message and life. He related the story of how he had recently received a letter from the lawyer of a firm he mentioned in his best-selling book. Most firms would be grateful to be positively mentioned in a best-selling book. However, this firm took a different approach.

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The lawyer letter was robot-like (as lawyer letters are prone to be), cold and demanding. It stated that the author is responsible for too many people contacting this lawyer’s client and asking about their services (Can you believe that?). I went to the website of the firm which was recommended by the best-selling author and the words seemed really nice. They had a nice phrase (even with the SM — Service Mark symbol!) on their home page about how they help customers. This seems like a classic case of “Words = Nice; Reality = They don’t really practice this.

Being successful in Relationship Marketing means you have to be genuine to the core. You know what I’m talking about. The ad on TV says the firm really cares for you. When you go there you’re treated like dirt and abused. The disconnect is painful.

Many firms demonstrate a lack of plain old-fashioned graciousness, even though their marketing ad copy says, we really care about you. It is easy to become cynical today. At a time when business is tougher, being kind seems to be the bare minimum as a requirement for success. I wonder how this so-called marketing firm treats paying customers once they have their money. That We really care about you trite phrase evaporates in reality when it isn’t real and is only a thin veneer covering the ugly attitude underneath. Watch how politicians react after the election in the January. June time frame when they are not up for re-election. Many people will be shocked (how about that!) that politicians say one thing to get elected but demonstrate a completely different attitude once secure in office.

Relationship marketing has to be based on being genuine or, like a house of cards, it crumbles under a strong wind. Witness the problems with the financial system in the US and you’ll see that if a system is not based on sound principles this nasty thing called reality will force it to crumble.

So, how can you become genuine? How can you communicate the importance of being real to your associates, your customers, your suppliers and elsewhere?

It starts with an attitude of trying to help others. See issues from their point of view. Too much of our society has grown callous and uncivil in tone. Vehement arguing and yelling are not appropriate in civil interchange.

You can tell a lot about a person in the way they treat wait staff at a restaurant. I recently had breakfast with a well-known celebrity who was speaking at the same conference with me. We got together to catch up and chat. I found it very revealing that this celebrity treated the server in a very disrespectful way deriding him because one minor request (out of several blurted out initially) was omitted. Then, this celebrity bragged to another person how he was able to set straight this poor, hard-working server. Yet, when the celebrity is on TV, he is all smiles and niceness. People who only see him on TV think he is kind and caring.

The day before yesterday I met someone at a social dinner. She related that she had had the opportunity through her job to interview two past Presidents of the US. One treated her graciously, asked about her, asked her to meet the members of his family and even let her use his wife’s golf clubs. The other past President delayed her and others, was rude, his voice was abrupt and he was very demanding. I’m purposely not mentioning who these past Presidents were because in a hot political season people would claim it is politically motivated.

This is not political. This is about basic human decency and treating people with care and respect — whoever they are and whatever position they have. My personal belief is that if someone is working and trying to make an honest living, they deserve respect. They have to demonstrate deficiencies before I think less of them.

As you adopt an attitude of wanting to help others in a genuine, real way, it permeates to your business. It becomes a part of who you are at the core and this reflects on the bottom line. We’ve lost a lot of that genuine care in our society today. Perhaps a slow-down is a good time to stop, examine how you treat others —- particularly those who are serving you — and ask about how much genuine care is being communicated.

Relationship Marketing is about kindness. Yes, this is simple but it is not always easy. Take time to think about how others are being treated. No, you don’t let people walk all over you, but a tough-minded attitude of kindness initially towards all is good training for real bottom-line business.

There’s an old saying on the street. I’ll clean it up a bit since this is a family publication. Money talks. Other stuff walks. Cling to what is real. Treating people with kindness and integrity is the right thing to do. It also improves the bottom line in business.

Terry Brock is an international marketing coach and professional speaker who helps businesses market more effectively, leveraging technology. He shows busy professionals how to squeeze more out of their days using time-honored rules and practical technology tools. He can be reached at 407-363-0505, by e-mail at terry@terrybrock.com or through his website at www.terrybrock.com.
Does Being Nice Equal Good Business?

By Terry L. Brock

Good morning, Mr. Phelps. Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to achieve success gaining 8 gold medals during the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, China. The task will be more than difficult. You must sacrifice daily. Oh, and you get to consume 12,000 calories a day! And one more thing, Mr. Phelps — this memory will not self-destruct!

We have been mesmerized and thrilled to watch Michael Phelps win gold medal after gold medal in the 2008 Olympics.  But it doesn’t come easy. His daily regimen consists of training for 5 hours a day, 6 days a week relentlessly.

I had to pause and think about what he has done and how you and I can apply these principles to our own lives in business. Here are some principles I see that you and I can take from his great achievement and apply to our own lives:

1. Turn A Negative Into A Positive. As a child, Michael Phelps had ADHD, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. He probably was called names. People looked at him funny, etc. However, he got interested in swimming as a way to deal with that energy and channeled it into good use. We all have negatives. Stuff happens to each of us. What can you do to turn your negative into a positive? When life hands you lemons, don’t just make lemonade—make champagne! Phelps sure did!

2. Discipline Yourself Mercilessly. I don’t know, but I’ll bet that Michael has had many days when he wakes up and would rather do something other than swim more laps in a pool! After the 100 billionth time (probably seems like that to him!) he probably could justify taking it easy, taking a break, relaxing. Hey, if someone has already won a gold medal, it is easy to just sit back and take the easy road. But that is not the way for Mr. Phelps. He’s at it working and following the instructions of his coach, Bob Bowman. He listens to his coach. He does what the coach says to do. He is open to learning and growing. What if you were to decide on that one thing you really want to achieve in your life and get the right coach? Then what if you discipline yourself mentally and physically to achieve that goal? I’ll bet you’d be surprised at the good you can do! Zig Ziglar said it well years ago, The tougher you are on yourself, the easier life will be on you. The easier you are on yourself, the tougher life will be on you. Good point, Zig!

3. Have Fun With Others. Phelps’ teammates have nicknamed him Gomer after the character Gomer Pyle played by Jim Nabors. Phelps is a likable, fun guy. Perhaps he is a real-life Forrest Gump! Yes, he is disciplined but he makes sure he has fun. Being likable is one of the most important traits you can have in sales. Sometimes you have to bite your tongue to be nice, but do it! Always be gracious and kind no matter what. That is the goal. It would be easy for the guy with the most medals in history to be pious and obnoxious. Well, not for ole Gomer! Be fun and have fun with others. This will do more to help sales and credibility than being a mean, quiet sourpuss!

4. Focus. This is hard. Phelps told NBC news, eat, sleep, swim, that’s all I can do. He knows that to achieve greatness you have to focus and be disciplined. You might not want to win 8 gold medals at an Olympics. But what about learning a new skill? What about being the best salesperson in your division? Find that goal and get the resources, books, training, coaches and whatever necessary to achieve your goal. You’ll be a better person for it and help others along the way.

5. Reward Yourself On Achievement. Phelps makes sure he celebrates with others and with those he loves. It is important to celebrate not just when we achieve the big goal. Create mini-celebrations along the way. Made that extra sales call you didn’t want to make? Congratulate yourself with a small reward. Got that extra sale? Do something meaningful for yourself and loved ones. As you reward yourself regularly with the small and big wins, you teach your subconscious that the reward will be there. This helps you achieve even more.

Mission accomplished, Mr. Phelps! You and your team have made it work. We’re proud of you and celebrate your victories.

So, what are YOU doing to set goals for those things that you want to do in your life? Relationship Marketing tells us to find ways we can help others. What if you had a goal to help 3 extra people today? What about making those extra sales calls? What about reaching for that stretch goal that you know you can make with a little more work?

As I think Michael Phelps might say, Get in that pool. 10 more laps!

Go for it!

Terry Brock is an international marketing coach and columnist who helps businesses market more effectively, leveraging technology. He shows busy professionals how to squeeze more out of their days using time-honored rules and practical technology tools. He can be reached at 407-363-0505, by e-mail at terry@terrybrock.com or through his website at www.terrybrock.com.

Here is an audio about being relevant. You’re gonna’ love this one!

[See post to watch Flash video]

Connecting with good people in a positive way is what Relationship Marketing, or what I call R-Commerce, is all about. All successful businesses are built on the concept of establishing, building and maintaining profitable relationships in business.

When economic times get tougher it is natural to cut back in any areas where you can save money. This is a good pruning strategy that every organization should go through— even in the best of times.

Business relationships have to undergo the same scrutiny. There are some relationships that your business will have that just don’t make economic sense. Some prospects never turn into customers. Yes, they are all people and we care for all people. Let’s get that one right out of the way! However, from a business point of view, you have to focus eventually on those business relationships which are going to be more profitable. In your personal life, you can focus on other non-business relationships for other purposes. But when it comes to business, this is serious.

So what criteria do you, as a successful businessperson use to cull through the masses? How do you treat people right no matter what, and still retain a profitable business? How can you differentiate from a host of possibilities and focus on those areas which are most beneficial for you in business?

Well, I don’t have all the answers. Sorry. However, here are some brain droppings that I have on this (to borrow from the late great George Carlin’s book title). Let me know what you think but here are my thoughts:

1. Determine What Your Goals Are. This is always the most important first step in business. Stephen Covey taught us how important is it to Begin with the end in mind. How are you going to derive profits in your business? Who is the ideal customer for you? If you can clearly identify the people that are most likely to purchase your product or service, you can filter all those you meet through to the right category. And that leads us to the second step to…

2. Develop Categories For Customers. I’ve read many good business books about database marketing. All those I have read state it is important to put customers into categories. Some of these are often called, Hot, Interested, Met and Discard or something like that. You can’t be everything to everyone. So, you have to focus your attention on those business relationships which involve the most likely prospects to purchase what you have. Think about it— in personal relationships you can’t have 1,000 really close friends. You couldn’t keep up with all of them and be good friends with everyone. Yes, you can have acquaintances and be friendly with everyone. But only a limited number of people can be very close. The same principle applies with business relationships. You can only have a given number of top-drawer customers. You have to determine the criteria and how many based on your business model. This is one of the most important considerations you’ll make in planning your business.

3. Allocate Your Resources. You have to be choosy with how you deploy those assets you and your business have. How much time are you going to allow yourself at select activities? Given tough times you have to make hard decisions about where you spend your time, money and effort. You can’t go to every seminar or convention. During tough economic times, you have to prune some relationships. Focus your time on those that provide the most value for value. This is true in business and in life.

A word of caution: Don’t throw away customers who aren’t profitable today just because you don’t think they ever will be in the future. They could be at some point and you don’t want to lose out on that option. Also, they have friends and can influence others. You want to have a category for everyone interested where you send them a Blog update, audio, video, etc. Give them value to stay in touch but focus your face time with those who will bring the greatest benefit.

Tough economic times require a fresh review of your financial and economic priorities. This is good for business overall. Like a farmer has to let a field lie fallow every so many years, you have to leave some markets. After you leave them for a while you could come back in the future or redeploy those assets. Just know this is the way of nature and it works in relationships as well.

Most important, remember to hang onto those relationships that are best for the long-term. Cherish them and nurture them. They are the relationships that keep a business strong and healthy.

So, what do you think? I look forward to hearing from you. Drop me a note at Terry@TerryBrock.com.

Terry Brock is an international marketing coach and columnist who helps businesses market more effectively, leveraging technology. He shows busy professionals how to squeeze more out of their days using time-honored rules and practical technology tools. He can be reached at 407-363-0505, by e-mail at terry@terrybrock.com or through his website at www.terrybrock.com.

Stop it already!! I don’t have time for yet another Blog, news story, article, podcast, video on the Net, social networking meeting, blah, blah, blah. Yikes! I am inundated with so many choices that it drives me nuts.

Maybe you can relate.

We’re all swamped with so many things going on. Your customers are in the same place. They are swamped and can’t keep up with all the new information. Then you, as an aspiring new vendor of theirs, come bouncing in the door with your new Wonder Widget and they can’t handle anymore. You call it rejection. They call it, Dealing with yet another pesky salesperson.

So how do you become relevant and build quality, profitable business relationships today? How do you get someone’s attention in an age of overload? How can you stand out in a favorable way?

There are lots of techniques that work and we only have a short time here so let me share some of what is going on and some solutions to help you.

Today it is imperative to be relevant. That means you have to appeal to my interests. Don’t tell me about you. Ugh! I want to know about how you can help me. This is the old story of what everyone’s favorite radio station is: WII-FM (What’s In It For Me?). It is your job as a successful entrepreneur, salesperson (aren’t we all today?) and business leader to actively find out how to help the other person. This is the best way to insure your own success.

The rage with video on the Net is a good example. Today we are swamped with so many choices that we often feel overwhelmed. We can’t keep up with it all. As I talk with entrepreneurs, I find most interested in how they can produce video and send out their video to the masses. However, with everyone producing video and sending it out there — who is watching this stuff? Are we a world of producers only? Does anyone consume this stuff?

Think about it. The world is not just sitting around waiting for you to produce your video. They are interested in their stuff and what is going on in their lives. Chuck Reaves, a professional sales trainer from Georgia, shared an important insight many years ago. He said, it is revealing when in a conversation with another to monitor how much they ask about you. Be the one asking the questions and listening. When the conversation ends, pause and ask how much you know about that other person and how much they learned from you. Successful salespeople ask and listen more than they talk. It’s the old Two ears, two eyes and one mouth—that’s the proportion you use them adage.

So, what do you do to be relevant? How does this increase your Relationship Marketing? Here are some points that can help.

Be relentless in being relevant. Never stop thinking about how you can profoundly and positively impact others for their betterment. The more you can do to help them achieve the goals they want, the more will flow to you. It is the way of nature. It is the way of successful Relationship Marketing.

How to Remain Relevant:

1. Think Them, Not You. Find what is bothering them. Where is their pain? Hey, we all have pain. Find out what is the most painful, challenging thing they are enduring now. If you can fix it, make it so. If you can only listen and empathize, do that. They’ll at least know you care and that is a big step forward.

2. Stay Current. If you don’t know what is happening in our world, you can’t be relevant. However, we don’t need to watch cable news 24/7 (please!). I find reading news.google.com gives me a quick overview of popular news stories I need to know. Then I go in-depth with Business Journals online for relevant business news (yes, shameless plug here). I also enjoy the Wall Street Journal and the Drudge Report to get a good overview. I avoid TV as it is so enmeshed with needless emotionalism and frankly, I don’t have time for all the senseless drama. Also podcasts are powerful for getting relevant information for business today.

3. Be Hungry For Solutions. Aggressively use your mind to soak up all the relevant information from a wide variety of sources you can. Then trust your marvelous subconscious brain to piece things together and come up with new ideas that are relevant problem-solvers. This builds relationships in business like nothing else. And while you’re hungry for solutions, provide tasty, delicious tidbits for others that will bring them back. Been only offering text? Try video. Try audio. Try teleseminars. Do something beneficial to others to break out of the mold. Do something radically delightful, which will make customers giddy with glee.

Being relevant is one of the most powerful ingredients in building successful business relationships. If you become —-here’s that horrible word — boring, you are toast in today’s world. Stay alive. Be relevant for others and find ways to make their lives better.

Doing this will insure your own future success. On top of that you’ll have a boatload of fun!

Terry Brock is an international marketing coach and columnist who helps businesses market more effectively, leveraging technology. He shows busy professionals how to squeeze more out of their days using time-honored rules and practical technology tools. He can be reached at 407-363-0505, by e-mail at terry@terrybrock.com or through his website at www.terrybrock.com.