As I type this it is Sunday 1 August 2010. Charles Brock, my father, is still alive—barely. The wonderful nursing staff at the rest home where he has been for the past 4 years has told me and the rest of my family that they don’t think our father has much longer to live.
Charles Brock was my father. He was born on 8 August 1928. On 8-8-08 (August 8, 2008) he turned 80. This is interesting as the Chinese consider the number 8 to be lucky, even related to making lots of money. Yet, Charles Brock did not have a life of a lot of money. Oh, he worked very hard. I remember as a child how he would work two jobs. One was in a factory from 11 pm till 7 am, and the other driving a school bus in the morning and the afternoon. He worked hard to earn money and provide a little better living for his wife and his three kids. I was the first-born of those three kids.
Charles Brock was a man who believed in hard work. Whether it was at his two jobs or at household chores, he gave it his all. His enthusiasm and determination to get the job done were his hallmark — and sometimes his downfall — as strengths taken to an extreme can be. When others are offended and hurt because of the “push” to get things done, problems can arise.
Yes, he made mistakes. He was not perfect. Yet, he did many, many good things in his life. I remember when he would take me to an event in Northern Michigan near Kalkaska during the summers. It was a religious gathering for the church we attended many years. The event was called “The Northmen.” It was held out in the middle of nowhere. No electricity was used save for the generator which provided lighting under the big circus tent they rented to house the meetings for the event. Those attending camped out in the wild breathing clean air, cooking meals over campfires and enjoying the smells of makeshift latrines. ☺
For this little boy who was wide-eyed and absorbing new information from any way he could grab it, this was a great experience! I loved hearing the preachers with their “hell fire and damnation” messages. They seemed to know what they were talking about. They commanded the respect of the men (yes, only men) in the audience. And they received numerous, hearty chants of “Amen” from the devoted followers in the audience.
For me, it planted a seed to want to speak to others. I could see myself on a stage speaking and sharing. Yes, that is what I wanted to do when I grew up.
Well, today I’m a full-time professional speaker. I’ve been doing it for almost 30 years now. I have earned the designation of Certified Speaking Professional from the prestigious National Speakers Association. Recently I was given the lifetime achievement award of being inducted into the Professional Speakers Hall of Fame by that same organization. I am most honored to be in that group and I have to thank my father for planting the seed long ago.
I mention what has happened in my life with deep gratitude to my father. Without the encouragement and direction from Charles Brock, I would not be where I am today. His devotion to take me to the Northmen year after year helped spark that desire for speaking in me. That inspiration has helped me to speak to audiences around the world today.
Thank you, Dad.
He also got me, as well as my brother and sister, to get involved in a swimming class. He felt this would be something that would be good to know throughout life. And yes, to this day, I’m using those skills of swimming I learned in Clarklake, Michigan to exercise and stay healthy.
Thank you, Dad.
He got us involved in Kodokan Judo. He felt that the skills we would learn from Judo would serve us more than participating in baseball, football or other high school sports. Well, the Judo training helped me to teach others about it and make some extra money to put myself through undergraduate school. It also gave me the discipline to get through many other challenges in life.
Thank you, Dad.
No, Charlie Brock was not perfect. He was a human being who made mistakes. Yet he also did many things that are praise-worthy. I guess we’d have to say that he was a human being —- warts and all.
Today, as I looked at the shell of a man lying in a bed dieing, I was able to tell him once again that I loved him and appreciated all he did to make my life what it is today. Did he hear me? Well, I don’t know. I’ll leave it up to the psychologists, the psychiatrists, the medical professionals and others to decide if he could understand my words to him as he looked at me with his eyes open today. Yes, when I asked, “If you can hear and understand me, Dad, please blink,” I saw him blink. Was i imagining it? Could he somehow, somewhere deep inside that Alzheimer-racked brain understand that his first-born son loved him and appreciated all he had done? Well, I don’t know. The older I get, the more I seem to be saying that phrase — “I don’t know.”
What I do know is that I love this man. I always will. He might not have been perfect but he was my father. He loved me in his own way. He helped me in many ways to become who I am today.
I’ll miss you terribly, Dad. Even as I type this, tears and sobbing are overwhelming me. And in the midst of the tears flowing like they haven’t since I was a small child, I feel forgiving and cleansing coming over my being. Charles Brock, you were my father. You raised me and did what you thought was right. For that, I thank you and I love you.
I will miss you and remember your good all my life. Rest in peace, Dad.
Final Note: Charles Brock passed away Monday, 2 August 2010 at 9:06 am Eastern
Charles Brock, 8 August 1928 “ 2 August 2010
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Terry, I am moved to tears from your heartrending tribute to your Dad. God Bless you and I am thinking of you during this time of mourning. Phil
Thank you for sharing your Charles Brock story. He and I are in the same age bracket so I can identify with his values – values which have been a part of your life as well. I am proud of the marks you have made for yourself and I treasure our relationship. Carol’s and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
God Bless,
George
Dearest Terry,
When I finally hit on public speaking, my dad said, “That’s your career,” even before I knew it. How wise our fathers are. And what a loss you’ve suffered, but how wise you are to celebrate it, my dear friend. How good you were to do what we all too often don’t remember to do: say I love you again and again, before we have lost the ones we love forever. Bless you for this message and this story that reminds us all of what really matters in life: family, relationships, love, caring. May those around you comfort you and hold you and remind you that you are indeed loved and treasured, and may you read all these messages and be comforted and reminded of how much regard we all have for our beloved Terry, and are so glad we have you among us. We love you. I love you, good friend. Tell Gina hello and hug her tightly. Dad’s proud.
Julia
I am so sorry to hear about your father Terry. Words can’t express how you feel when you lose someone that you are close to. Just yesterday I was crying because of my husband’s death and that was two years ago and I lost my Mom 10 months ago. My thoughts are with you and the best you can do is just what you’ve done in your wonderful tribute to your dad–and that is to remember all he gave to you and how you are using it to help others. Please accept my heartfelt condolences and know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.
No one works harder than you do. He taught you well. What a great tribute to a man who left an imprint on your life. The fruit did not fall far from the tree. You just send your seeds via cyberspace to the world. Our hearts and prayers are with you and your family in this loss.
Terry to Terry!
Terry, so sorry to hear about your dad. What a wonderful tribute to him in your message though. I believe he could hear every word you said to him in the home and he was blessed by it. I have no doubt you have made both he and your mom incredibly proud. You’ve also inspired and encouraged others to make sure they express their love and appreciation to the special people in their lives.
Blessings,
Kate
Terry,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time. May you hold on to only the good memories and let the others fade with time.
Dave & Sheila Paradi
Terry, my thoughts are with you. I lost my Dad 6 weeks ago at age 76 – he too was far from perfect, but I choose to remember what he gave, and he gave what he could. He would pop over twice a week and tend my garden right up until the end. We ate fresh organic vegetables daily – straight from the patch he tended. You can’t beat those memories. Be strong and celebrate his life.
Paul.
Oh, Terry, I am so very sorry that you lost your Dad today. My prayers, thoughts and e-hugs are with you and your family. I feel honored to have read your beautiful words and memories. Thank you for sharing this part of your heart and soul with us.
Terry,
My heartfelt sympathies to you and your family for the loss of your father.
I also wish to extend to Charles Brock, my heartfelt gratitude for the legacy that
he has left with us in his son Terry. You will honor him every day of your life with
the man that you are.It seems that while we ourselves show the years of aging,
the child within us always embraces the love and nurturing of parents till their last breath. Be gentle on yourself in the months to come. Treasure the memories you have shared with us and so many more that you hold dear. Thank you for sharing
such a special tribute. Supportive Hugs, Peggy Kline
Terry, You clearly have suffered a loss that cannot be weighed. I know you well enough to know that by sharing what you have shared with us you are doing so to help yourself deal with your loss. The teacher in you is also helping all your friends find the lesson in life even in a father’s death. I thank you for being such a wonderful mentor and the brilliant teacher of life you are.. Ironically, I am in New York as I write this and have been planning to visit my own father and grandfather’s gravesite later this week. I do so now with a sense of wanting not just to say “hi to my Dad and Grandfather ” but to reflect back on all the wonderful qualities they both instilled in me. TIs’ interesting to hear you talk about your Dad and becoming a professional speaker. My grandfather and Dad were prominent auctioneers so your story is very moving as my life also found its way to a podium too. Thanks for sharing your words and your priceless friendship. Your Dad has passed on many wonderful qualities in your being and doing. His memory lives on in the lives you touch everyday by being the gentlemen’s gentlemen you are. God bless, Robert
Terry…my heartfelt condolences at this very difficult time. I never had the fortune of meeting your parents but they obviously did a lot right. That is one of the most beautiful messages I’ve ever read and, like Jim, I believe he heard you. You’ve used your talents, your values and your education from that wonderful upbringing (warts and all) to share many of their traits through you. No parent could ask for more. God bless you all.
Terry,
Sorry to hear about your loss. Danny, Lynn and I lost our father 11 years ago and he was not perfect either but was an outstanding example of how to live your life with a mix of hard work, truth and good time enjoyment. He was a Father, Farmer and Marine, with father being at the top of the list. Siemper fi was a code of conduct in our house along with respect and honor for and of each other. Oviously you thought highly of your father as is obvious he did of you. God bless and hope to run across your path again in the near future.
Skip
Thank you, Joe! And yes!!! Go hug your own Dad now while you can. Never too many hugz for those we love and care for. Even if we live to be 195 life is too doggone short. So let’s cherish and savor every day!
Terry,
I am very sorry for the loss of your father. I can’t imagine the pain you are feeling but I cannot hide my own sadness for your loss. Makes me want to go hug my dad and tell him I love him.
Joe
Terry
Very sorry to hear the news about your Dad.
I’ve just read your blog and your beautiful words brought tears to my eyes.
What a thoughtful tribute to someone so very special to you.
My thoughts are with you my friend.
Kind Regards
Simon
Thank you for sharing this vastly important and intimate part of your life with us. May God grant you the strength you need during this time of loss and adjustment. And may you continue to be comforted by your wonderful memories and your knowledge that he is with his Lord. continue to make him proud of you by helping others and keeping your priorities in line with the Word of God. Blessings to you.
WOW, just imagine the wild and wonderful party going on, on the other side! Tears are our way to water our own garden my friend…and the blossoms will rise.
Hugs and lots angels coming your way!
Say hello to Michigan for me, Ken. Thank you for your kind words. Yes, that experience over near Kalkaska still is vivid in my mind. We have planned for years for no funeral (as Dad wanted) and a memorial service for the family. No firm place, date or time yet but that will be decided soon. Then family members will charter a boat and go out into the Gulf of Mexico to scatter Dad’s ashes in the water. He is free of all the pain from Alzheimer’s now. That is very good. Thank you, Ken, for your kindness and your friendship.
Terry,
I am sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing during this difficult time, and let me know if there is anything I can do to help.
Josh
Josh
My thoughts and sympathies are with you and your family. Thank you so much for sharing your father with us. Your message was a timely reminder to make sure I tell my parents how much I appreciate their support, love, and encouragement. May each moment and each day be easier with your memories and the love around you. Dawn
Terry, I am so sorry for your loss. That’s a wonderful tribute you wrote to your father, and I hope you’ll continue to cherish the memories you have of him.
Your dad left one of the greatest legacies possible — you. I can only imagine how proud he must have been of you.
jim
PS – I’m convinced that your dad did indeed hear you when you spoke to him — perhaps not with his ears, but certainly with his heart.
Terry, my great friend–
Your expression of devotion to and love for your Father is most genuine and touching.
My father left this earth 30 years ago. Yet every day I treasure the support he gave me, the ways he believed in me, and the things he taught me that have lasting value. So your words resonate with me in a powerful way.
I join your many, many friends who express heartfelt sympathy for you and your family in this time of special challenge.
Thank you for sharing your marvelous sentiments with us.
Warmest regards from Sandra and me,
Bill
I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad, Terry. Every word you wrote made me reflect on my father, as well as me as a father to my 10 year old daughter. I had flown back to Ontario last fall to see my Dad, knowing he didn’t have much time to live. Unfortunately he passed away peacefully, but alone, two hours before our scheduled visit. On my flight from Vancouver, I wrote him a letter that I intended to read to him when we got together–about all the things I appreciated (like how your Dad contributed to your success and growth). I did read it to him; however, his soul had already departed to a better place. So I share a small bit of your pain, but relish in the memories of your father . . .
Thank you for sharing your Dad with us, Terry.
David
Terry,
I’m so sorry to hear of your dad’s passing. This is a lovely tribute to all he taught you and how much he meant to you. May you find comfort in good memories and all the lessons he brought to you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time.
Terry,
Thank you for sharing your memories of your Dad with us. You are in our thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. Our hope is that your good memories of your Dad will sustain you and that he will live in your heart forever..
Wow Terry….Thanks for sharing this with us. I lost my dad, another ‘Charles’ after having the good fortune to be his daughter and benefit from the many work and life related lessons he bestowed upon me….Many which I did not understand until years later.
I didn’t realize until now that you also were raised in Jackson County, where the summers are beautiful.
Your dad will live on in the wonderful memories you have. God bless you.
ps: Terry I forgot to mention that I write these thoughts to you not far from where your Northmen experiences happened. We are in MIchigan on vacation near Holland on Lake Michigan. Let me know where the services will be held. Will try to share a hug with you and salute your dad.
Ken Banks
Terry: Thank you for sharing your thoughts with your friends as your dad passed away. Having been the official eulogizer for my family when my mom and then my dad passed away several years ago, I really hope I captured the feelings as well as you did. Your thoughts spell out one word–LOVE. Both from you and from your dad. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, as always.
Ken Banks
Terry, I am so sorry to hear of your Dad’s passing. Thank you for sharing the stories of how he influenced you. My thoughts are with you.
Gideon
Thank you so much, Steve. Your words are very appropriate and so kind. I wanted to write my feelings and put it out there to 1) say a proper good-bye to my father and 2) help others who might be going through something similar. Thank you for letting me know it helped. I greatly appreciate your kind thoughts.
Thank you, Mellanie. You are very kind and yes it is something where we’re never really ready even when we know it is coming. Just makes me realize more and more the importance of living each day of life to the fullest. Thank you for your kind words.
Thank you, Eddie. You are very kind. Yes, losing a father is very painful. Now is the time to hang onto the good memories and cherish them. Thank you for sharing.
To our friend Terry,
Ann Marie and I are heartbroken to hear about your loss. Your father’s death brings up the always present emotions of my own dad’s death over 19 years ago. Your loss, as mine will never be forgotten and I know like me, you will use his life as a constant reminder to enjoy the life you live.
I still talk to my dad, Jerry, and I have asked him to meet your dad Charles and show him around. I know they will both have a lot in common.
Our prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.
Jim & Ann Marie Kwaiser
Thank you, Billy. Yes, you can relate to what it is like with a parent suffering with Alzheimer’s. I do hope we get a cure for that disease someday. Thank you for your caring and your kindness, Billy. You’re a good man.
Thank you for sharing your heart and your love of your father. I hope when the day comes my children will be able to share that I gave to them as much as your father has given to you.
Your strength and honesty is a testimony to your heart.
Be there for your family but let them be there for you too. Even the strongest of men need to lifted up and carried once in a while.
Thank you, Scott. I’m thinking of you also and sending best wishes. I appreciate your kindness and concern.
Dear Terry–
I ache for you. As you know my mother passed away on March 31 and I miss her terribly. Those tears you are shedding are proof that you were given a gift of a wonderful father. Relish those.
How lucky you have been to be using the skills that were inspired by the trips to Michigan with your father. And how lucky are your audiences, too. They have been touched by your father and will continue to be in the years ahead.
Fondly,
Jean
Thank you, Carol. You are very kind. And yes, I love apples! Dad did too! What a nice memory! Thank you for sharing that.
Terry, thanks for sharing this fine tribute to your dad. May he rest in peace, and may peace be with you.
My Friend – my condolences on the loss of your Dad, and know my heart, love, prayers and best wishes are with you and your family.
Your wonderful words about your Dad speak loudly about him and his influence on you – and the way you say it is a continuing demonstration of your generosity, inspiration, and caring for all of us. Even in the midst of your sadness and grief you provide deep and thoughtful offerings for us all to reflect upon.
May your faith in and joy for life make your journey even more meaningful and insightful, and may the love, appreciation, respect, and inspiration that you have for your Dad – and that we have for you – give you peace in the support of your friends.
Steve
Terry,
My heart goes out to you on the loss of your Dad. No matter how much you expect it, you’re never really prepared for it when it happens. I hope that the thoughts, prayers, and tears of those of us that love you will lift your spirits and help you through this time of sorrow. We’re there with you in spirit.
Hugs,
Mellanie
Terry,
It is with great sorrow that I too share your remembrance of your love for your father. I have had similar experiences, twice now, that the thought of “ I don’t know†crossed my mind, but in time I have experience retuning signs of a mentor and loved ones. Watch for those signs in the future, and those warm memories will be relived.
My prayers go out to you and your family.
Vic
Vic Merryman, Marketing and New Business Development
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Dear Terry: I am heartbroken to hear of this news. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. My dad died in 1989 — I know the pain of losing a father. With friendship, Eddie
Terry,
You are all in my thoughts and prayers. What a wonderful legacy he has left…you are a wonderful man Terry who impacts many lives in the most positive ways (I’m one of them!)…what more could a father ask for? Thank you for sharing a little bit of who he was with me…it’s true, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Sincerely,
Carol
Terry,
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad you got to be there in the end. Peace and closure are good things.
I’m thinking of you.
Terry,
Having lost my mother to Alzheimer’s, I truly understand the moment of grief you are now experiencing. I was there when both parents took their last breath and that allowed for closure and a better understanding of the toll death brings to our life. Your commentary on your father was a true tribute and clearly demonstrated how much you loved and appreciated the impact he had on your life.
Thanks for the candid sharing of your feelings and thoughts at a most difficult moment of life. You and your family will be in my prayers. May all of you be blessed with great memories and peace in your heart as you remember how important Charles Brock was to all of you.
Thank you, Mike. Yes, Dad had a big heart and tried to help a lot of people. I think of many of these now as the memories flash back. And you and Debbie can appreciate the reference to and discipline of martial arts. Dad was the one who encouraged me to get in and to stay in it while I was in school. Thank you for your kindness, Mike.
Terry, Thank you for sharing the message of your father and what an important influence he had on your life. The focus of the love, support and good times will certainly keep him in your heart.
My love, thoughts and prayers be with you, your family and friends as you celebrate the life of your father.
Great idea, Sandy! Call your father and let him know how much you love and appreciate him. I was able to do that many times with and for my Dad, including yesterday, the last day I saw him alive. Now, I’m at peace and have no regrets. Thank you, Sandy, for sharing this with me and others so we can all do the right thing in the right way regarding our parents. Thank you!
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