Do find it hard to say what is “appropriate” and non-offensive? Do you sometimes feel like you’re “walking on eggshells” with some conversations and you’d like to know what to say when you don’t know what to say?
I’ve got good news for you.
The amazing Sam Horn now has a book to address that. It is called “Talking On Eggshells” (I know, I love it!) and it is packed with gems that can help you connect in the right way with the right words.
And you are in luck!
I had the opportunity to get her on camera for an exclusive interview addressing the very issues you’re dealing with in conversations.
On this episode of Stark Raving Entrepreneurs, we explore the concept of Interpersonal Situational Awareness (ISA) and how it can be used to solve difficult situations. We hear from Sam shares personal anecdotes about using ISA to address divisive political differences among family members and provides tips on how to handle difficult conversations with diplomacy, maturity, and accountability. She also talks about how to emphasize the importance of interrupting negative patterns and instead, finding solutions to make things better. Tune in to discover tools and strategies for personal and professional success using ISA and soft skills. Plus, hear a special interview with entrepreneur Elon Musk about job interviews. This came from a question she was able to ask Elon Musk a while back.
(Yea, pretty amazing!)
This is a must-see video for those of us communicating.
And yes, that is all of us!
Grab a pen and paper or your note-taking device of choice. Turn off other distractions. Then get ready for a deep dive into what you need to say when you feel like you’re “Talking On Eggshells.”
Enjoy and please share this with others. This message is desperately needed in todays’ “arguing way too much” society.
#SamHorn #DifficultConversations #TalkingOnEggshells
Sam Horn is a renowned keynote speaker, author, and communications strategist who has helped countless people navigate challenging situations with confidence. Her expertise in communication has led to her being called upon by Fortune 500 companies, government agencies, and nonprofits to help them improve the way they interact and communicate with others. Sam is the author of numerous best-selling books, including “Tongue Fu!”, “ConZentrate”, and “What’s Holding You Back?”. Her work has been featured in major media outlets like the New York Times, CNN, and NPR. Through her guidance, people have learned how to respond effectively to difficult situations, communicate clearly and persuasively, and build stronger relationships.
[00:00:00] Communication tension addressed by book author.
[00:05:46] Importance of respectful communication, intolerance of abuse.
[00:09:21] “Dad said get busy fixing situations”
[00:13:04] “Interpersonal situational awareness” intervention example.
[00:16:23] Key to dealing with rudeness: Avoid, Interrupt, Respect.
[00:19:53] “Tactful termination: interrupt, paraphrase, move on”
[00:23:34] Elon Musk’s advice: solve problems, not positions.
[00:26:21] Urgency for change in divisive times addressed.
Terry
Terry@TerryBrock.com
3X TEDx Speaker
Stark Raving Entrepreneurs
My Website
TerryBrock.com
Connect with me on Social Media
https://dryft.me/d/terrybrock
And for your convenience, here is a transcript of our interview. This way you can go even more in-depth into the very helpful suggestions Sam made during the interview. Enjoy!
Terry Brock [00:00:00]:
In case you’ve noticed, sometimes it’s difficult to have a conversation today. Have you noticed in our world that, I guess, more than I’ve ever seen and more than I’ve read about in other times in history, we’ve got a lot of tension in the air between people saying, oh, you’re right or you’re wrong, I’m right, and arguing and fighting. It’s 1 thing to disagree on some policies. Okay, we get that. That’s important. It’s healthy to have that. But when it gets to be too acrimonious, something needs to be done. And you know what? Something has been done that you are going to get involved with today. You’re going to have a treat as you get a chance to find out about a book that is out on the market right now, very soon, and it’s called Talking on Eggshells. Don’t you love that name? Talking on Eggshells, that has soft skills for hard conversations. And matter of fact, we’ve got a special treat for you today, because today you get a chance to see and hear from the author of that book, Sam Horn, and she’s joining us today. Sam, welcome aboard. Glad to have you with us.
Sam Horn [00:00:58]:
Thanks so much, Terry. I’m looking forward to sharing some insights and examples with your listeners.
Terry Brock [00:01:03]:
Well, you have done such a marvelous job. Now, I have read your books. You and I have talked before. We’ve done interviews. And your books have always been, in my book, way off the charts great. I mean, a 10, 11, 12 on a 1 to 10 scale, Really good. But this 1, even better. And it’s so practical for me on a personal level, as you and I have talked about off camera, saying, yes, this is really important. But I think more important for our world today of where we are. Tell us a little bit about, say, the 35, 000-foot point of view, the big picture, what honking on eggshells is all about, and why that’s so important today.
Sam Horn [00:01:40]:
You know, Terry McKenzie had a report come out that said, rudeness is getting worse and incivility is on the rise. And I bet we all have someone, and it seems like we tiptoe around this person, it seems like we can never say anything right, we’re worried about saying the wrong thing because they get easily offended or they have a hair trigger temper or they take out their anger on us. So this is what to say when we don’t know what to say, so that we can handle challenging situations in the moment, instead of thinking of the perfect response on the way home.
Terry Brock [00:02:13]:
Oh, that’s so good. Well, let’s get right into it here. What I want to do is take a look at what you have done, what you have put together on this, because it’s something that well, it’s nothing short of amazing the way you describe it. And you start out here with a quote that I thought was really good. This is directly from the book copy that I made of it. He said recently, I that’s you were listening to the always intriguing Guy Kawasaki podcast. And yes, he is always intriguing. I love his work. Remarkable people, his podcast while on the treadmill, he was interviewing negotiation expert, Barry Nailbuff, who said something so profound, I jumped off the Treadmill to write it down. He said the goal in tough situations is to fight fire with water. I love that. That is a way to do things that really is well, nothing short of amazing when we look at what can be done and what we really should be doing. Talk to us a little bit about that, of a fighting fire with water and why we should do that.
Sam Horn [00:03:07]:
You know, now, Terry, you’ve studied martial arts, haven’t you? Oh, yeah, Kodokan Judo. I taught that and worked my way through high school and undergrad school teaching it. Well, see, then you know what we’re talking about. Is that martial artists, number 1, they don’t go out looking for fights, right? And if someone picks a fight with them, they don’t flail back, which just makes it worse. And this is the verbal form of martial arts. It’s that If we learn what to say in the moment that can actually help instead of hurt, that can deflect or diffuse a conflict, it is better for both of us. And that’s what talking on eggshells, the book is, is how can we use techniques in the moment that are mindful instead of mindless, so that we’re actually working toward a solution instead of just fighting back and forth, flailing and making things worse.
Terry Brock [00:03:55]:
Yes, exactly. It’s something that really is important. I love the way that you say, you can follow up here. If someone picks a fight with us, we don’t fight back, we flow back. If someone is ranting, raging, resenting, or resisting, we keep our cool. And yes, that’s exactly what we talk about in martial arts. And we find that we continue to treat them with respect and use positive proactive responses to create rapport so well most of the time anyway they’re motivated to respond in kind. I think that that’s really the way that people will react. Tell me your thoughts on that as you see and you’ve practiced this a lot uh how you have seen people respond when you treat them that way with respect and with honor.
Sam Horn [00:04:37]:
You know, I love examples. You and I are both storytellers, Terry. So let me give what I think is 1 of my favorite examples that shows the power of words, which have ripple effects, to flow back instead of fight back. So I flew to New York and I was visiting my son, Andrew, and he had a one-year-old son, Hiro. So we’re getting caught up in the living room and Hiro crawls across the floor, climbs up on a guitar stand and starts pounding on the strings of the guitar. Now, Andrew could have fought back. He could have yanked the guitar away. He could have said, no. He could have said, leave the guitar alone. All fighting back, all escalate the situation, right? He said 1 word, Terry. Do you know what the word was? No.
Terry Brock [00:05:19]:
Gentle. I saw
Sam Horn [00:05:23]:
Hero’s face transform and he reached back to the guitar and he went strum, strum, strum and he reached up to some bells on the window and went ring, ring, ring. And at that moment, Hero made music, and it was because Andrew used words that shaped his behavior, instead of shamed his behavior.
Terry Brock [00:05:46]:
I like it. You know, that is so important because we see what we’re doing. Too often people try to shame the other. They try to say the right words and they’ll beat them up or something like that. And that really, you know, never works. I found few people on the Internet go, wow, you said the right words that made me angry. And now I’ve changed my mind. It doesn’t seem to work that way for some funny reason. Have you noticed that? It’s really something where we see what’s going on with that and we see how it’s working and the kinds of things that are happening and what we have to do. But at the same time, there’s sometimes we see others that are behaving in well ways they really shouldn’t. And when they do, we’ve got to respond accordingly. And I see 1 of the things that you talked about here is a quote, I love the quotes in your book. This 1, I think I love the best. It says, what if verbal abuse takes place in public? Tolerance is admirable, yes. When dealing with verbal abuse, intolerance is even more admirable by that great philosopher, Sam Horne. Your quote, Sam, tell us a little bit more about that. Please expound on that, Why that it’s intolerable when we see that done in public and abuse.
Sam Horn [00:06:51]:
You know, Terry, silence sanctions. And if someone is verbally abusing us or others, we’ve been taught to turn the other cheek. Well, if we turn the other cheek, people will slap that 1 too. And so I believe in being the pattern interrupt. And it’s 1 of the most important concepts of this book is that, as Elvis said, when things go wrong, don’t go with them. So when people are verbally abusing, we don’t yell back at the person and we don’t suffer in silence. Those are 2 extremes. It’s the fight, flight, or freeze response and we flow back once again. So I’ll give you an example of what we can do instead. A pattern interrupt is a physical sign. And it is because if people are yelling at us, and we yell back at them, the voice of reason gets drowned out in the commotion. And as I took my jack Russell to a dog obedience school 1 time, and he was so excited, he was barking, barking, barking, what did I do, Terry, I yelled at him to stop barking. Doesn’t work. Don’t yell at a barking dog. He thinks great. Now both of us are barking, right? So we use a pattern interrupt. We actually like, we say, hey, wait a minute. Or we say, stop, back up, you know, let’s not do this or this won’t help instead. And you see how the physical pattern interrupt, the verbal pattern interrupt of let’s not do this or this won’t help. Instead, let’s shift people from making things worse to actually making things better. Let’s find solutions instead of fault. Let’s talk about how we can keep this from happening again. You know, let’s talk about how we can reach out to that person and apologize. So they, and you see, we can interrupt that fight and we can turn it into a flow by shifting people to what we do want instead of what we don’t.
Terry Brock [00:08:48]:
Exactly. We’re talking with Sam Horne, the author of a fabulous book about walking and talking on eggshells. We’ve heard the phrase walking on eggshells. This 1 is about talking and doing things the right way. And matter of fact, what you just said reminds me of 1 of the things you said in your book, a story from your childhood when you were there with your father, your brother, and somehow the fence got open and the cows got out and they were wandering around. And at first you and your brother as children sometimes do say, it was your fault. No, no, no. It was your fault. You were the lady going back and forth. And your father came in and demonstrated
Sam Horn [00:09:21]:
how to do it. Tell us a little bit if you don’t mind about that story and how your father showed you and now showing all of us the way to handle it when you’ve got a difficult situation like that with the cows out and it’s 2 in the morning, I think you said. Tell us a little bit about that. You have a good memory, Terry, is that we grew up on a ranch and if you’ve grown up on a farmer ranch, things go wrong and so, yes, it was 2 AM. 1 of our neighbors called. The cows were out on the county road. So we got up and we started bellyaching and blaming, right? It’s like, well, you were the 1 who left the fence. It wasn’t me. And it doesn’t just happen on ranches. It happens in meetings when something goes wrong and the finger pointing begins. And dad said, we can bellyache or we can get busy. And bellyaching never cured anything. And instead, getting busy on fixing the situation instead of finding fault. So let’s talk about a meeting. I was in a workshop and a gentleman was talking about how a VIP client had a meeting at 9am. Well, the person in charge was sick that morning. He called the receptionist, please said, please ask Tom to go ahead and handle that. Well, the receptionist got busy when Tom get in. She didn’t tell him the VIP client comes in. No 1 is there waiting for him, he storms out, if this is the way you treat your clients, I’m taking my account elsewhere. And the CEO said in the meeting, the finger pointing began, well, the receptionist said, hey, don’t blame me, I never saw Tom. Tom said, I didn’t hear about it. And pattern interrupt is that once again, this won’t help. We could argue for the rest of the afternoon about who dropped the ball and it won’t get that client back. Instead, let’s reach out to the client, apologize for what went wrong, assure him this is not our standards of excellence so that he can trust us again with our account. So for everyone listening, arguing serves no good purpose. Stop it. Shift people to how we can solve it, how we can fix it, how we can prevent it, that helps instead of hurts and leads to cooperation instead of conflict.
Terry Brock [00:11:23]:
Sam, those are golden words that we need to hear because in our world today, as I was referring to in the introduction, We’ve got some real issues that are serious. I mean, literally life and death. And I think most reasonable people are saying, hey, we want to come to a real solution here. We need to get this solved for everyone. By using these tools, we can arrive at an answer better. I know, I don’t know about you, Sam, but for me, I have changed my mind on many things throughout my life. Well, you should have talked to me when I was 18. I had it all figured out then. At least I thought I did. I did not. But as I’ve changed my mind, I realize others can too. And having that attitude of saying, okay, hold it, We’re not going to do the finger pointing here, like in the office case or like your father did in the situation. Say, OK, hold it. We’ll deal with these these details later. Right now, what can we do to restore? What can we do to heal, to repair as much as we can? Remain calm and go at it that way. I think that’s really good. And I think that also calls for something else you talk about in the book that I really like. I had not heard this before, but I really like the concept of it, where you talk about what you call interpersonal situational awareness. And what that is, it’s a deal maker, or it’s a deal breaker, because what it does is it gives you the ability to do something. It’s for our personal and professional success. ISA, interpersonal situational awareness, is the beating heart of soft skills and the key to handling hard conversations and really any conversations with diplomacy, maturity, and accountability. Tell us a little bit about that and how you see ISA, the interpersonal situational awareness, really implemented in the right way.
Sam Horn [00:13:04]:
Well, I’m so glad that you went to the beating heart of this book, Terry, which is ISA, because we’ve all heard of situational awareness. This is interpersonal situational awareness. And Desmond Tutu said that we’ve got to stop pulling people out of the river. We’ve got to go upstream and find out where they’re falling in. And that’s what this book is about, is how we can think upstream, how we can read the room, how we can see what’s happening, and then intervene, interrupt to shift it to something that will be more helpful. Now, by the way, I hope people, unless they’re driving, are taking notes. Put a vertical line down the center. At the top of the left-hand column, put words to lose. On the top of the right-hand column, put words to use. On the top of the left-hand column, put reactive. On the top of the right, proactive. So let me give you an example of interpersonal situation awareness in action. My aunt Kay is 84 years old. She drives to a hospital 5 days a week to volunteer to help out at the help desk. And she was doing this during COVID. And I asked her what it was like, and she said it was stressful. And I said, well, think of a time you used ISA, that things were going wrong and you were able to turn them around. And she said, well, I think of a situation. I said, tell me. She said last week a woman came in and she was holding up her phone and she said, my daughter’s in the ER. She was in an accident. I need to get in and see her.” Well, Terri, you may remember the policy was 1 visitor per patient or no visitors per patient. So Aunt Kay called the ER and found out someone was already with the daughter. She had to deliver that news to the mother who understandably lost it, yelling, screaming, et cetera. Now, Aunt Kay over on the left could have been reactive. She could have said, hey, don’t blame me. I didn’t make the policy. Why are you taking this up? She could have been offended. This is so wrong. This is so rude. However, she used 4 words, Terry, guess what they were?
Terry Brock [00:15:10]:
What were they?
Sam Horn [00:15:11]:
How would I feel? How would I feel if my daughter was in the ER and had been in an accident and I couldn’t get in to see her. See, she may not agree with a woman’s behavior, she now understands it, and it gave her the incentive to move from there’s nothing I can do to what if there’s something I can do. She called the ER back. She asked, who is with the daughter? It was the Uber driver who had brought the daughter in after the accident. Kay was able to explain the situation, thank him, he left and the mother was able to get in with the daughter. Now look at the interpersonal situational awareness in that situation. She could have once again, you know, like, you know, don’t blame me, it’s not my fault, you know, I didn’t make the rules, etc. Instead, how would I feel if this were happening to me? We may not like how the person is treating us. We may understand it. And once again, it gives us the incentive to move from there’s nothing I can do to pulling people out of the river. There’s something I can do, which actually helps all people involved get what they want.
Terry Brock [00:16:23]:
Absolutely, and you know, that is the key. Let all people be involved. You’re using that empathy that we really need. But you know, there’s also other times, and you dealt with this so beautifully in the book, that there are times when people really are being rude, or they’re doing something wrong, or they’re talking too much. Sometimes that happens. And I love the way that you describe this in the book, where you went back and you said, you know, there’s certain things that we should do and certain things that we should stay away from. And what we’re going to do is we have some words to avoid and to ignore. And matter of fact, as I look at what you’ve got there, let me come back over here to this, some of the words there to avoid, nor I’m just going to lie low and hope he doesn’t turn on me. But words to use instead would be, act with urgency. If he starts in on me, I will interrupt him instead of suffering in silence. And 1 more I want to talk about here, 1 that you mentioned and then get your comment on this. Sometimes the I reply would be, I don’t like the way you’re talking to me, where you would be, Tyler, stop, speak to me with respect. And I think that’s something that’s really important for us. Talk to us a little bit about that in those times that we need to use certain phrases, and not be a doormat, but stand up to the people who are being way too aggressive.
Sam Horn [00:17:32]:
Terry, you’re bringing up the evolution of the book is because I believe most people have a conscience. I believe most people care what’s fair. And those are 95% of people. Well, then there’s the 5%. And this 5% bullies, manipulators, controllers, et cetera, narcissists, they don’t care what’s fair. They don’t want a win, they want to win. They don’t want to cooperate, they want to control. So if we’re dealing with 1 of these individuals, we, I’m going to say something that flies in the face of what we’ve been taught. We don’t use the word I. See, I works if both people are owning their behavior. Bullies, narcissists don’t own their behavior. So it’s double jeopardy when we use the word I. I don’t like that tone of voice. I don’t like it. They go tough. So instead we do the you. You back off. You enough. You take that language somewhere else. You hand off the shoulder. Because what we want to do is to keep the attention on their inappropriate behavior than on our reaction to it. So if we’re dealing with a 5% or remember if you’re saying I actually you are double jeopardy because now you are keeping the attention on your reaction to their behavior instead of on their inappropriate behavior.
Terry Brock [00:18:53]:
I really love that, Sam. That is wonderful. And the way you describe that in the book, it really helped me personally in ways that sometimes I’ve sat back and said, well, I’ll just sit here and listen, and they’ll go on and on and on. We’ve seen the people that are talking too much. You deal with that so beautifully. And I love the way you do it because it ties in with what Gina Carr, my partner, fiance, and I talk about in our star-craving entrepreneurs. We talk about live and let live. That’s the bedrock philosophy that we have. You do whatever you wanna do. Use your imagination as long as you don’t harm another, you’re not abusing them, you don’t take their stuff. And so, this ties in beautifully with it that you’re not gonna be a doormat. You’re going to exercise your rights to do it. I love the way that you talked about it using the person. In fact, 1 of the things I wanted to get you to tell us a little bit more about is by using the person’s name. You said, hey, Bob, Bob, we’re not going to take that. We’re not going to do that, Bob. Why is that so important and almost magical in solving and moving away from problems?
Sam Horn [00:19:53]:
First, let’s talk about, I call this tactful termination. Because Terry, I understand it. It’s just many people in customer service have been taught to let people vent. It’s like, they’ll get it off their chest. No, they won’t. They’ll have a bully pulpit. In a way, they can go on and on and on. They can say vile things and that is not okay. So with tactful termination, first it’s to understand it is not rude to interrupt, it is right. I mean, picture an old fashioned scale of justice, you know, the lady of justice and the 2 plates. Imagine someone else is like, you know, swearing at you, is yelling at you, is like calling you names, is talking ad infinitum. Their needs are being met. What about your needs? What about the other 3 customers you’re supposed to be taking care of? What about the other people in the meeting you haven’t had a chance to talk? So see, it’s not rude to interrupt. It is right because someone has to act in alignment with the greater good of the group. And then, Terry, as you just said, when we say someone’s name, it causes a pause. If we say Bruce, if we say Sally, people will stop for just a moment. That’s our chance to get a verbal foot in the door. Now the next step, it’s very important to paraphrase what they said, because if we just say Sally we don’t have time to talk about that now we need to move on with our agenda, Sally is going to react well you know I have a right to talk. It said no. Instead, Sally, I understand you have strong feelings about this and you have some suggestions on how we can do differently. And we have 3 other people in the meeting who haven’t had an opportunity to contribute yet. Let’s go ahead and give them a chance. Carl, what are your thoughts? So see, paraphrase what they’re saying and then move into action. Move into, you know, is that I’ve got, we’ve got 5 more minutes and 2 more items on our agenda. There are 3 other people who are waiting in line and I want to take care of them now. I’ll circle back to you as soon as. In fact, we can use the words as soon as. As soon as we hang up or as soon as we finish this phone call, I’m going to talk with the account manager to find out what happened. Or right after we finish this meeting, I’m going to take this to my supervisor to see how we can. Do you see how their name, paraphrase, as soon as, or I wish we had more time to talk and I’ve got a presentation in 5 minutes. I’ll circle back. It actually closes the conversation. Paula Poundstone said, we need a 12-step group for non-stop talkers. We’re going to call it on and on and on. So if someone’s non-stop talking or verbal abuse, do not give them a bully pulpit. It is right, not rude to interrupt and then serve more people instead of just 1.
Terry Brock [00:22:42]:
That is just beautiful. I love it. And those of you watching this, This is a book I highly recommend. I read a lot of books. I love I’ve read Sam’s book. This 1 really helped me. It’s going to help you because we’re in a very difficult time right now in our world. And this is going to help you to go instead of fighting fire with fire, you’re fighting it with water. And that water, I think is going to do a better job than fire. You’re going to be able to do it much better. And what Sam talks about is good. 1 little gem I want to leave the audience with that you put in there toward the end of the book, when you talked about a quote from Elon Musk, when Elon Musk was talking about hiring people. And rather than asking him about their positions, he said he wanted to know about what problems have they solved. I thought that is brilliant. And doing that tied with the right communication seems to solve a host of problems. Tell us a little bit more about that and your feelings on that particular idea.
Sam Horn [00:23:34]:
I’m so glad you picked up on that. So I’m going to scrunch this into a 60 second story. I had a chance to see Elon Musk speak at the National Press Club. My son works in NASA. So I said, Tom, if I have a chance to ask Elon a question, what is it? And he said, Mom, my job’s safe. I’m with the ISS. But everyone with the shuttle was laid off. They’re all applying to SpaceX. Ask Elon what they can do to ace an interview and land a job. Well, I did have a chance to ask him and as you said, Terry, he gave the most brilliant 1 sentence answer I’ve ever heard he said, don’t tell me about the positions you’ve held. Tell me about the problems you’ve solved. And, and this in a way is is ISA, it is instead of my agenda I really want this job, it’s their agenda and our agenda know what have they heard before? What haven’t they heard before? What are their goals? What do they have on their website, so I can speak to them. And 1 of my favorite stories about this, Terry, is that I had a chance to go to the UN, and I saw Peter Diamandis speak, Peter Diamandis, the founder of XPRIZE, and so forth. And he said, there’s 2 kinds of people in the world. There’s red capers who fight evil and injustice, and there’s blue capers. They don’t fight evil and injustice. They’re a force for good. And I thought, well, there’s actually 3 kinds of people. There’s red capers, there’s blue capers, and then there’s gray capers, and they don’t fight evil and justice, and they’re not a force for good. They just complain about everything and don’t do anything about it. This book is about being a blue caper. It is about being a force for good. It is about seeing things that are anchored in conflict. And It is us choosing to set the example. It is us choosing to go first and to use words and responses that move us toward cooperation. And we focus on what we have in common instead of what we have in conflict.
Terry Brock [00:25:29]:
Absolutely. I love that. What we have in common versus what we have in conflict. That always seems to be much better. I’ve found that I’ve had situations where I’m with someone who has a view that might be 180 degrees out from mine on a particular issue, but we can find certain areas where we agree. We can find those areas and then build on top of that and understand why they believe what they believe tends to work a lot better. Well, Sam, this is a book that we wanna let people know about. Matter of fact, 1 of the things that came up with an idea for me before we started recording for those of you watching this, let’s suppose you know that bully, someone that’s been treating you and others wrong, hey, buy a copy for them and send it to them. They can definitely use this because it’s the kind of thing that can help a lot. Sam, tell us a little bit about the book and how we can get involved with that, where we can help you as working with the book, not only during the launch, but also as those that are gonna be watching this 6 months or a year after we’ve recorded this.
Sam Horn [00:26:21]:
Terry, thank you for that offer. It’s John Cotter out of Harvard said, do you know what the number 1 prerequisite is for change? A sense of urgency. You and I both feel a sense of urgency about this topic is that I know family members who are not talking to each other anymore because they have diametrically opposed political views. Ruth Bader Ginsburg said, we are different, We are 1. And if you feel the world is divisive, if you see angry people around each other, and that’s becoming more and more of the norm, you can be a pattern interrupt. And I hope you go to my website, which is Samhorn.com. And on the June 5th, we’re actually having a launch party. It’s free. And we’re going to have special guests, and we’re going to share some of the best practices. So go to Samhorn.com. Look under Talking on Eggshells. Hope you join us for that. And if you’re in a business and you think, boy, I wish my customer service team could hear this, or our emerging leaders can hear this, well, then on pub day of June 6th, I’m having a free Zoom mini training. And you can go ahead and sign up your sales team and your emerging leaders and your project team and so forth. So that once again, we’re learning what to say when we don’t know what to say, that can actually treat people with respect and can lead to receptivity instead of resentment and resistance.
Terry Brock [00:27:43]:
Yes, indeed. The book is Talking on Eggshells by Sam Horn, available at samhorn.com and where fine books are sold. And it’s spelled by the way, S-A-M-H-O-R-N, samhorn.com. Great information there, and I highly recommend looking into it, not just because it’s a good book to read. Oh, it is. It’s really packed full, but it can really help change your life for the better, particularly in a world where things are too contentious, much more than they should be. Here’s a way for you to fight fire with water and win. And I like that. Sam, any final words that you have for that person who’s watching this, that’s saying, hey, you got some good ideas on that. They’re a little bit interested and wants to know more. What would you leave them with today?
Sam Horn [00:28:24]:
You know, Joyce Meyer said, life may give you a cactus. You don’t have to sit on it. We may be dealing with a difficult person, a challenging situation, a sensitive issue, and we can get upset about it. We can complain about it. We can tell other people about it, or we can hopefully read this book and we can find out what to do about it that actually makes it better. So instead of feeling bad about it, we can make it better. And so I hope that they check out the Talking on Eggshells book. I hope like you did, Terry, that they underline things, that they star things, that they dog ear it. And even when you go to our website, we have this 1 page with words to lose, words to use, that you can post on your refrigerator. You can put it right by your laptop or on your office wall to keep these ideas in sight, in mind and top of mind, so they don’t drift out of sight, out of mind.
Terry Brock [00:29:18]:
Sam Horn on behalf of everyone watching this and people who need the message you have, thank you so much for doing it. We greatly appreciate it and wish you the very best in all the endeavors you undertake. Thank you so much, Terry. Hope people found this interesting and useful. Yes, indeed. And by the way, for those of you joining us, this is something that is really important. Think about it. For a few coins, you can get this book. Yeah, you buy the book and it’s good. And then you’re helping the cause, but you’re also really helping yourself and you’re helping the world. This is something that is nice. I do a lot of training in how to use different tools and that’s good. This goes way beyond that. And this is a book that can help you. I encourage you to look into it. This is what Gina Carr and I talk about in our Stark Raving Entrepreneurs. And you can bounce over to starkravingentrepreneurs.com and see the kind of things we do. And we appreciate you joining us for this today. I’m Terry Brock, we wish you the very best.
